Home Is

Hobbity Cottage

I never had a home ( or a spaceship ) now I have both. Oh , I lived in many houses since I was a child but never ever I could claim they were 'my' home. They belonged to other people, my parents, friends,  a landlord. Over the years I moved several times,  trying to make a small nest of each place I was living in but with little success because I always knew that  the day would come when I had to move out...again.  Suddenly  everything changed yesterday. As often in my life things did happen so quickly, just naturally , I bought a home, my very own  hobbit cottage and I feel like I achieved one  of my dreams, to have my very own place where I can be safe and happy.  I had seen this house many time walking down the road, it is a small English cottage  with a lot of charm, small on the outside and on the inside but this house was 'winking' at  me every time I was passing by, and when a week or so ago  the 'FOR SALE' sign went up I started to daydream about living there, now the dream  is real.  Yesterday I put an offer in to the sellers  that was accepted, so here I am this morning,  the happy and excited new owner of Hobbity Cottage.

A bit of work need to be done before I move in though, but I am not in a rush.  Talking about 'home'  I just realized in the last few days that  'home' is really where the  heart is, that it does not really matter where we are as long as our hearts are there.   This year did start special , and it continues to be so.  I will keep  a small  visual diary of the work done on Hobbit Cottage here on my blog to have a record of how  a small little house will become a hobbit home, so please do come in , have a cup of tea and a slice or cake or a muffin or  five. My home will be : sitting at my desk  under white Christmas lights, wrapped in a blanket and playing on my computer. Picking blueberries in the wood. and  making blueberry pancakes. Sunday afternoons with  gaming , fire in the fireplace, taking a nap  on the couch,  munching on some cheese and crackers. A quick dance as I pass through the kitchen. Resting my chin on the ledge of the bathtub , soaking in the hot water while listening to it rains outside. My very own home (our very own spaceship) , where we  can loved not despite our vulnerabilities and imperfection but because of them. Always knowing there’s a place where we belong. No matter what. 


janitor said...

I think I realized there is some similarities between us Lei, we both seem to have had a bit troubled start to this life. For me it wasn't very long, but I guess it made an impact still.
And I've lost several familymembers myself.

When you lose someone that's suppose to be close family, you sort of stop trusting the concept of family in this world.
People try to make a home out of this world, and it doesn't seem to work, does it?

Now i think psychology can work to a certain extent, in disclosing what's going on.
But it's when we're suppose to move on having resolved the issue, that there seems to be a flaw - people go to therapy for years and years, not really getting anywhere.

I think Levenson had a practical solution to becoming Self-realized, I'm very impressed with that guy.
He said, there are basically three ways humans handle emotions: venting them (playing them out), avoiding them (the situations that cause them), and the worst - supressing them.

The last one, supressing, is probably what cause disease and cancer and that stuff - blockages of energy. Supressing into knots, tumors, and whatnot.

And the solution - which is the most practical that I know - that he came up with was, releasing them.
I think what that means is, as I mentioned, observing the emotion until it dissolves, and a bit more of Self are allowed through.

I'm saying this so that you don't think you must supress emotion, cause that isn't helping at all.

Like Datre said - relax and allow.

I also think I've come up with a sortof definition for what can be observed: every-thing that isn't the real YOU.

Which includes emotions and(!) thinking.

This is probably why you can't register or monitor Beingness, No-thingness, Self:

cause you can't observe Your-Self, only that which isn't Self.

I hope you can become enlightened soon Lei, so I can ask you what to do when I get stuck.

janitor said...

oh, and congratulations on your first home, it looks nice and cozy. :-)

It's nice to have your own place. Perhaps this will be the place where you find true Peace inside :-)

Leilani said...

Thank you kindly for the nice comment, Janitor :)